"It's so obvious you don't care anymore"

Nearly Four Years I had spent crying over you. 

Enough was enough. After ignoring all five of your calls and an abundance of text messages last night this is what you messaged me "It's so obvious you don't care anymore" and to this I smiled, snuggled further under my duvet in a bed I no longer had to share with you and thought finally perhaps you are realizing what you have done. 

They say that there are several stages of moving on and I was well and truly finished. Done, dusted and moving on. I had finally realized my worth and what I had to offer as a woman and settling was never going to be an option again. 

I didn't need a man to make excuses for, to stay up late crying over, to be hurt physically and mentally by. I didn't want to feel second best or that I was something to be easily forgotten when the time came. I was tired of being depended on yet never experiencing the same support. I've never wanted a love straight out of a movie as that shits not real. I want a forever a once in a lifetime kinda love. So yes its obvious I don't care anymore and its even more obvious that your behavior is the reason why. 

11.11 thoughts.

How do you know if you are in love with someone?

Here are 7 ways to know if you might be in love — rather than in like — with someone:

1. The best part of your day. ...
2. The first person you think about. ...
3. Prioritize above your own needs. ...
4. You'd do anything. ...
5. You are never afraid to express your feelings in public. ...
6. You love the imperfections. ...
7. You think long-term.

Stepping Out, Moving Up.

And just like that everything seemed to change. 

Sometimes you are standing on the precipice. You know what you want, where you see your life going, and what you need to do, but to take that leap can seem daunting to say the very least. We get comfortable as humans, creatures of habit and laziness. 

I am all too familiar of the feeling of comfort in surroundings that I have grown used to. However this year everything has changed. I found the courage to make myself a priority and love the person that I am (sounds pretty selfish) But it was needed. I realized just how under appreciated I was in every situation. In love I gave myself completely only ever asking for the same in return (this didn't happen) In work,  I worked.. hard, met targets and over exceeded expectations lining the pockets of those further up the food chain. In life I lived but rarely in the moment, I was weighed down by future thoughts and permanently thinking of what ifs' This was not the person I wanted to be. 

So I changed it, I still love and trust implicitly (even if this is sometimes hard to do) I work hard but am changing this, no longer shall I be making fat cats fatter but instead making my life richer, new opportunities, new people and something that challenges me in all of the right ways, its right when they say boredom can kill you, I have come close. Life is now lived as it should in every moment, every late night/ early morning/ midday conversation and I no longer plan for the bad things that I feel will come my way instead I don't even give them a second thought. 

I surround myself with good honest people and have left those who want to drag me down well and truly behind me (nearly) For the first time in a long time I have the power to be who I want to be, chase those dreams that have evaded me the last three years and make myself happy.